Memory
by daughterofpercabeth417
Summary: Bianca Jackson, daughter of Percy and Annabeth Jackson, lost her twin brother in an accident 4 years ago. Her life fell apart. Her parents separated, she lost all her friends, and she got into a lot of trouble. But can Bianca save herself and her family before it becomes too late for them? (ON HIATUS)
1. Chapter 1

**Hello! I know those who were reading Insecurities are confused on why I deleted it. I just wasn't feeling the storyline. This fanfiction, however, I am. I hope you all enjoy!**

 ** _Chapter 1_**

 _Bianca Jackson opened up her notebook and picked up her perfectly sharpened pencil. She'd always preferred to handwrite rather than type things. She reread the prompt:_ Elaborate upon a person or an event that impacted you or your life strongly. _Bianca sighed. She'd been trying to avoid the topic since it happened. It hurt so bad, losing her twin brother. Swallowing the tears, Bianca placed the pencil on the paper and began to write._

* * *

I remember it like it was yesterday. I can't help but feel guilty, like I could have done more. Everyone tells me that it wasn't my fault, that I couldn't control him, as much as I wanted to. Still, I was there. There was so much I could have done.

Luke and I were always close. Growing up, we never had the traditional sibling fights, never pulled each other's hair or went out of our way to annoy the other. Despite our differences, Luke and I always seemed to understand each other. Even though we had our own friends and our own interests, mine being studies and his being sports, we never once lost touch with one another. At the time, I thought we never would.

As close as we were, he began to pull away as we grew older. He spent more time training – _especially_ training –, pushing himself harder, harder than ever before. I knew it was bad, dangerous even, for him to work himself the way he did. I told him so, but he didn't listen. I only knew why once it was too late.

* * *

"Luke," I asked groggily, "Why are you up so early? I swear if I hear that alarm again I'm going to break it on your head." Luke was sitting at the kitchen counter eating cereal. He was wearing his training clothes. I sighed heavily and down next to him. "Why do you do that?"

Luke looked up at me. "Do what?" he asked, mouth full. I rolled my eyes.

"Why do you work yourself so hard? All you ever do is train. What are trying to accomplish. You'll only hurt yourself. I'm worried about you." Luke looked away, dropping his spoon in his bowl. Something was wrong. I knew it. I always knew. "Luke?"

Luke stood up and slammed his bowl into the sink. I jumped at the clang. "You wouldn't understand. You don't know – forget it." I quickly slid off my chair and grabbed Luke's arm. He shook off. "It's just stress, okay?" he snapped. I watched as he stormed off. I felt hurt and pushed away. Luke had never done that before. Sure, we hadn't talked as much, but I hadn't thought much of it at first. We were getting older. We had our own friends and our own interests. We were growing up. Stress was normal. But it wasn't stress. It was me.

* * *

Luke and I stood side by side at the bus stop. I glanced over at my brother, and, to my surprise, saw him reading. My brother really never read anything without being forced to. I peeked over his shoulder. _Science_ , I thought. _Luke doesn't read science books._ In fact, Luke rarely studied. He studied enough to pass, and that was about it. He had dyslexia, so reading for him was harder than it was for me. I don't have dyslexia, but I do have ADHD. People often said that we were an exact copy of our parents split in two. I'm more like my mom, though.

Before I could ask Luke what he was doing with a science textbook, the bus rolled up to the corner. Pushing his way past me, Luke climbed onto the bus and made his way through the tight isle to the back of the bus. Watching him with a confused eye, I slid into a seat about halfway between the front door and the back. Next to me was girl with long brown hair, blue eyes, and glasses. Carissa, my best friend.

"What was his deal?" she asked as I sat down. I knew who she was referring to, and so did she. "He looked like he was looking for someone to get in a fight with." I shook my head and rested it against the rough seats of the school bus.

"I wish I knew."

* * *

My high school was strange. In fact, all of my schools were. Sure, we had the same basic classes: English, Math, Science, and History; we also had some that were a little odd. Instead of Spanish or French, for example, as a world language, you took Greek or Latin. Instead of gym class, we had 45 minutes of mandatory training. Instead of music or art or STEM, we had battle strategy. And then we had a class of our choice, something more normal, that you'd find in a normal school with normal kids and teachers and staff who didn't have an ancestry of the gods. Those classes changed annually depending on the survey results that we took at the end of each school year. Aside from that, my life was pretty easy at the time.

As I was leaving the locker rooms, a voice called out my name. Alexis, Luke's girlfriend, jogged up to me. Her mom was Aphrodite, and it was no surprise. She was really pretty. I smiled. She didn't.

"Alexis, what's wrong?" I asked. She grabbed my arm and pulled me out of the locker rooms and to the nearest corner of the gym.

"It's Luke." Alexis looked past me to across the room. I turned. Luke was there, goofing off with his friends as though nothing was wrong. "Well, don't look!" Alexis commanded, grabbing my arm. "He'll know we're talking about him." I nodded.

"So," I began. "What's up?" I honestly was a little surprised. Alexis and I, we were never really that close. Even after she and Luke started dating, the most conversation we had outside of class was a small smile, a hello sometimes, in the hallways.

Alexis swallowed hard. "He's just been so distant lately. I'm worried he might be cheating. Or breaking up with me. I really like him, Bianca." I smiled sadly, and shook my head.

"Don't worry. Luke's just been training really hard lately. I would know if he was, even if he didn't tell me. He's not. And Luke isn't breaking up with you. He's not great at talking to girls. He had to ask me for help on how to ask you out." I laughed lightly, remember Luke trying to flirt with me as though I were Alexis. "Just don't tell him I told you. He'd probably kill me." Alexis laughed, and smiled gratefully.

A sharp whistle shot through the air. Alexis, the rest of the class, and I all rushed to the edge of the room. I glanced down the line, and locked eyes with Luke. _How are you?_ I mouthed. He scowled and looked away. I sighed heavily. For the first time, I couldn't figure out what his problem was.

"Alright," a gruff voice began. The gym teacher was pacing the line, the way he always started class. "It's the last Friday of the month, and it's a free training day. Do what you want, but no killing each other." The class chuckled and dispersed throughout the room. I pulled Carissa behind me and stalked across the room. We watched as a sword-fighting version of Knock-Out took place. Luke and some other guy were up first.

Luke advanced first. In forty-five seconds, the other sword was on the floor. The guy angrily stepped off the mat, bumping shoulders with the next opponent. Person after person, classmate after classmate, Luke defeated mercilessly. I watched as his swings grew heavier as Luke grew more tired. 5 minutes before the end of the period, the last opponent Luke would face stepped up to the mat.

"Oh, no!" Carissa whispered. "Brick is really strong. There's no way Luke could handle him being that worn out." I turned around and glared at her. Carissa smiled guiltily. "Sorry, just being honest." I sighed, and turned back around to watch Luke.

Even before the match began I knew that Brick would have to be exceptionally slow today for Luke to even have a chance at beating him in his current tired state. Brick was pretty good with a sword, but his strength was his best weapon. On top of that, Brick hadn't been fighting for almost an hour non-stop.

I watched as Luke and Brick continuously went at each other, the upper hand being passed between the two. Despite having only a few minutes left, time seemed to drag on. I remembered a story that my parents had told me. It was about the Second Titan War, and how the previous leader and king, Kronos, could slow down time. I almost wondered if his spirit was beginning to linger again.

A loud clang pulled me from my thoughts. Brick's sword was on the floor. Luke stood with his sword at shoulder level pointed at Brick. I smiled proudly. I was about to turn and head to the locker rooms when Brick lunged at Luke. He grabbed my brother's sword's hilt and threw it across the room. Luke was a great sword-fighter, but he was never great at fist-fighting. Being at strong as he was, Brick excelled greatly. Within moments, Luke was on the ground, nose bleeding and bruises forming. Even so, his crazy smile was present on his face.

"Well, gee, Brick," Luke started. "If I'd have known you were such a sore loser, I would have gone easier on –" Brick ran at Luke, knocking him to the ground. I knew that Luke would be angry with me later for interrupting, but I wasn't going to stand by and watch him get pummeled.

"Luke, stop!" I shouted. He ignored me. I stormed onto the mat, something that was greatly advised against while a match was going on, and shoved Brick off my brother. "Luke, what are you doing?" I asked at I pulled him up.

He shoved me off. "Gods, Bianca, I'm just training." Luke was furious with me. I could tell, but I knew he wouldn't let on.

"That didn't look like training. It looked more like a beat-down. You know what Mom said. She'll kill you if you get sent to the nurse's office _ag ain_ for training to hard." I lowered my voice. "She thinks you're going to get yourself killed. She's worried about you."

Luke scoffed. "And of course she told you. Because you're the perfect, mature child with the perfect grades and the perfect friends and the perfect life who never gets into any sort of trouble." I stumbled back, suddenly very scared for my brother.

Despite my worriedness, I reached out the touch Luke's arm softly. "Luke, where is this coming from? I'm not perfect." Luke opened his mouth to respond when a loud, ear-piercing siren began to sound. I locked eyes with Luke, and for a moment, I saw the old him. When he was happy, and didn't rush off to fight every opportunity he got, and cared about how his actions effected everyone else. But the old Luke was gone as soon as he arrived. My brother ran to his sword, picked it up, and rushed to the windows, myself and the rest of the class not far behind.

"Shit," I muttered. The edge of New Rome was far away, but not far enough to where I couldn't see what was there. I recognized it instantly, and not just from our lessons at school. My father described it perfectly. I looked up to talk to Luke, but he was already gone. I cursed again, this time in Greek, and pushed past my class to catch Luke before he did something stupid.

Luke was already halfway through the clearing when I finally exited the school. With a burst of speed, I caught up to Luke at grabbed his arm. "Luke, what are doing?" I shouted. "Are you trying to get yourself killed!? You've never fought a real monster before. It's nothing like training."

Luke shook me off and stormed towards the barrier. "And how would you know? You haven't fought any monsters before, either."

"I know that! But Dad and Mom have told the stories! They said that training can only do so much! And, hate to break it to you, but you don't _think_! That's going to get you killed."

Luke whipped around pointed his finger at me. "Right, because you think so much," he growled. "That must be why you aren't held to such a high standard. Because you aren't stupid. Because you actually have more going for you than you're fighting ability."

Again I stumbled. "Luke, I'm not held to a higher standard. Where would you get an idea like that?"

"Oh, I don't know? How about because I'm _Annabeth Chase and Percy Jackson's kid_!?"

"Excuse me, but last time I checked, I am too!" I snapped. "And you still didn't answer my question."

Luke laughed angrily. "Please refer my second-to-last-answer," he responded mockingly. "You really don't think hear Mom and Dad, _you_ even sometimes, talking about all the trouble I have in school." Luke's expression softened. "Bianca, I thought you of all people were on my side."

I reached out to Luke again. "I am! I swear. I'm just worried. I don't want you to fail. You have so much trouble because of your dyslexia and –" the moment I said the words I regretted them. "Luke, that's not what I meant."

"No, I get it." Luke whipped around. "I completely understand. That's why I have to do this. So maybe, just for a little while, Mom and Dad would _lay off me_." And with that, Luke ran off. I chased after him, but stopped just before crossing the barrier. I was unarmed, and couldn't help Luke even if I wanted to without a weapon.

I watched as Luke fought harder than I'd ever seen him fight in his life. For a moment, I thought he had the upper hand, as Luke made smart, strong blows at the monster. I smiled. Luke really seemed happy. Or at least as happy as someone could be fighting for their life. And then it started.

Luke stabbed at the monster, and I thought he'd beaten it. I really did. Behind Luke, I could see the sand-like substance that was oozing from the wound my brother had made. The monster howled in rage. I ran out to meet Luke. He turned around and met my eyes. He was beaming, and looked significantly more relaxed and happy. I wish he could have stayed that way.

We both thought that the monster was gone. Luke had stabbed it, so we thought that he'd killed it. We were wrong. Luke had barely left the small clearing in the trees along the edge when the monster reached out. I froze, fear masking my face. Luke stopped running, confused at my face. I screamed.

Everything slowed down. Luke was pulled backwards. His sword flew out of his hand and landed a few feet away. I wanted to run to Luke and bring him back across the border into New Rome and to safety, but I never got the chance. The beast roared, and pulled its arm back. Within seconds, Luke's limp body was lying next to me. I cried out, tears beginning to spill onto my cheeks. I reached out and threw Luke's sword as hard as I could at the monster, which dissolved instantly. I collapsed next to him, sobbing. I lifted his head onto my lap, stroking his blood-matted hair.

"Did I kill it?" Luke whispered. I laughed, and nodded. I knew I was lying, but Luke deserved to think he did what our father had done so long ago. "Good, now I can –" Luke started coughing. I tried to lift his head to steady him. When I finally did, I saw a small drop of blood trickling from the corner of his mouth. I gasped. I swallowed back tears as I wiped it away.

Luke reached out for my hand. "Hey… hey, Bianca, don't worry. Don't cry. I'll be okay." I nodded in agreement as my tears began to fall again.

"Yes, you will. You're coming home and, and you… Oh, gods. Luke, you _have_ to hold on. _Please_."

Luke shook his head, and cupped my face in his hand. "Whatever happens, you have to stay strong. You have to help Mom and Dad, and hold everything together. And for gods' sake, you have to stop crying so hard. You're shaking." I hadn't realized, but I was shaking. Hard.

"Sorry," I said. "I'm just worried about you." Luke laughed, or made a sound that seemed like a strained laugh.

"Isn't it," Luke began," a little backwards for a younger sister to be worried about her older brother?" A shocked, slightly confused look plastered itself across my face. _Younger sister?_ , I thought. I asked Luke, and he laughed again, sharp coughs interrupting here and there. I winced at each one. "I was born first, remember?" I rolled my eyes, but nodded.

I readjusted Luke on my lap. "Are you okay if I go get help? You need serious medical attention and –"

Luke put his finger to my lips, silencing me. "You have to stop worrying about me." His voice sounded weak and strained, like talking took a greater effort than before. Suddenly, it dawned on me. The one thought that I had been trying to push away this whole time. Luke continued speaking, though I wish I wouldn't. "Bianca, you are the greatest twin sister I could have asked for. Stay strong for me, okay?" I nodded, crying harder that before.

Luke's body went limp in my arms. "No… Luke? Luke, wake up!" I screamed. But I knew it was no use. I knew it was over. My twin brother, my best friend since the beginning, was gone. All because he wanted to be a hero. As much as I wished it wasn't, it was true.

Luke died saving us all from a Minotaur.

 **Alright, that's chapter 1! I hope you all enjoyed! I have high hopes for this story! Please, comment, follow, share, and come back!**

 **Yours truly,**

 **daughterofpercabeth417**


	2. Chapter 2

**Hello demigods! Welcome back! So sorry this chapter took so long! I'm trying to write longer chapters, so everything might take a bit longer, but I hope it's worth it! Okay, chapter time!**

 ** _Chapter 2_**

 _Bianca set down her pencil and took a deep breath. Her eyes were watery and her breathing had grown fast and heavy. There was a lot of emotion built up after what had happened. It made her anxious and insecure. Bianca hated her birthday, and would still today lash out at anyone who said anything bad about him. A knock came from the other side of the door._

 _"_ _Bianca? You in there?" Her mom was calling to her. Bianca blinked back her tears, and told her mom to come in. "Hey, B. What are you working on?"_

 _Bianca shrugged. "Nothing. Just my college application essay. No big deal." Her mother's eyes lit up, and she sat down on the chair next to Bianca's, snatching up the prompt paper._

" _'_ Elaborate upon a person or an event that impacted you or your life strongly _,'" Bianca's mom read aloud. "Interesting. Who are you writing about?" Bianca glanced at her paper, and quickly flipped it over. She knew Luke's death was a rough subject for her. Bianca knew that her parents had lost a friend when they were younger whose name was also Luke. Bianca knew that had been rough too. Her brother and she were meant to be a nice tribute. Sometimes things just didn't work out that way._

 _"_ _Earth to Bianca. Hello?" Her mother was waving her hand in front of her face, trying to get her attention. Bianca blinked, and looked at her. "Good, now what are you writing about?" Bianca's mom picked up her notebook and began reading. "'_ I remember it like it was yesterday. I can't help but feel guilty, like I could have done more. Everyone tells me that it wasn't my fault' _… Are you…?" Bianca nodded. "Oh." Bianca's mother set down the notebook on the desk in front of her. "Well, I'll leave you to it." She got up and began to leave the room. "Oh, and, dinner will be ready soon."_

* * *

I wasn't listening. I knew I should be. It was my twin brother's funeral. It was Luke's funeral. I knew I should listen to the obituary, about how great he was, how happy he was, what a bright future he had. I knew the truth. Luke wasn't happy. He felt pressured and upset and angry and did reckless, dangerous things to prove himself.

I glanced over at my parents. My father had deep bags under his eyes, and the beginning of a beard. My mother was crying, her eyes red and puffy. I wanted my parents to comfort each other so desperately. But I knew they wouldn't. I just wish I didn't know why.

I rushed into the house, nails digging into my palms. I was trying to hard not to cry. My parents walked in the house behind my, their steps heavy and tired. They had just made the final arrangements for Luke's funeral. It all seemed like a dream. I was so sure sometimes that it was all a dream, that I would almost run into Luke's room and see his face again. Not pale and bruised, but healthy and happy. But then I remembered. Luke was gone, and there was no point in thinking or hoping otherwise.

"Bianca, go to your room for a moment please," my mother said. "Your father and I need to talk about some things." I winced. My parents normally let me stay. They knew I could handle it. So much had changed, so much had fallen apart. I silently prayed that her family wouldn't do the same.

The moment I closed her bedroom door, I heard her parents begin to talk angrily. I hadn't actually gone to my room, but I knew that I could make my parents believe I had. Quietly, I sat down on the top of the stairs.

"You heard what Bianca said, Percy," I heard her mother say. Luke felt pressure. He was breaking, pushing himself too hard, _because of us_. We did this." I could imagine her father going to comfort her mother. He would wrap his arms around her and hold while she cried.

"I know that's how it looks. I felt that way, too," my dad admitted. "But we couldn't have been that only ones. Luke had school teachers, friends, and countess other things that could have made him angry. And remember, he died a hero."

I heard her mother scoff, and footsteps that sounded like they had stumbled backwards. Her mother had pushed away her father. She never got angry like that. "It's not _about that_ ," my mother snapped. "Yes, our son died a hero, and that is amazing. But, like I said, that's not the point. Luke broke, Percy, and we didn't even know."

My heart sank. Despite her not talking to me, my mother's comment made me feel guilty. I had noticed. I noticed everything. I noticed when he got unnaturally snappy for no reason. I noticed when he was up late into the night and up before dawn training and pushing himself harder than he should be. I noticed when he became incoherent and depressed. This was Luke's suicide. He wanted attention and someone to care; he wanted people to just lay off him sometimes and let him be himself. His act of heroism was Luke's cry for help, in his own way.

"I understand, Annabeth," my father said quietly. "I do, I really do. I don't know what it was specifically, and we may never know. But we can't focus on the bad stuff. We have to keep our heads up and be strong. For Luke." I winced. Those were the words Luke had said to me before he died, to stay strong.

My mother cried out angrily. "Get off! Percy, I can't do this right now. I can't pretend that I'm okay. I need to focus on the bad stuff. I don't want to keep my head up and be strong. Not right now, not for Luke, not for anybody!" I rushed down the stairs and peeked around the corner. I could only see my dad. He looked hurt, but I could tell he was trying to hide it for my mom's sake.

My father moved in to comfort my mother again, but, from what I could see, she turned her back. "Annabeth, please –"

"No!" My mother said harshly, her voice breaking. I quietly stood up and snuck into the doorway. Neither of them noticed me. "I think… I think you should go."

"What?"

"I think you should go right now." My mom turned to face my dad. "I just can't do this with you right now. I can't do any of this."

My father took my mother's hands. "Then let me _help you_. Let me be there for you. I want to be, more than anything." My mom sighed, and shook her head. She pulled her hands away and stepped back. "Annabeth, please –"

"Please," my mother begged. "Please, just go Percy." And that was it. My family was broken. I couldn't hold us together, keep us close, for even two weeks. _I'm so sorry, Luke._ I was a failure, no matter what anyone said. I couldn't do it.

Without meaning to, I cried out. My parents' heads whipped to face me, their faces lined with guilt and shame. They hadn't wanted me to hear that, but I had. It felt like a stab to the gut. Everything was happening too fast, and I couldn't keep up. My eyes welled with tears. My parents tried to come to me, comfort me, but I pushed them away, screaming, "I hate you! Go away!" over and over. Part of me could see the hurt looks on their faces, how guilty and upset they felt about everything. But the other part of me didn't care. That Bianca was angry and frustrated at her parents for making her be the strong one instead of comforting her; upset and scared at the idea that her family, her perfect family, was falling apart. But I was both of them, and I knew couldn't stay there. Not like this.

I stumbled backwards, and was already running as I pivoted around and rushed out my front door. I could hear my parents shouting after me, apologizing and begging me to come back. But I wouldn't. I couldn't. I needed time to myself to calm down and sort through some things… to break, even. As I was running, I remembered a place that Luke and I used to go to with our parents before we got busy with school and other things. Keeping the place in mind, I took a sharp turn, pushing through people on the busier streets of New Rome. Despite not having been there in years, I knew the exact streets to take, the short cuts through the woods and behind houses Luke and I discovered when we were kids.

My feet slowed as I approached a fence near the edge of the city. I glanced around me, making sure no one was watching, and hopped the fence. The pressure of my feet hitting the ground carried through my body. I leaned back and against the wood and slid to the ground, catching my breath. I'd run across almost half the city. My lungs were burning and I could barely feel my feet and legs. I just needed a moment to rest, but not too long. I still needed to find the place before nightfall. All the shortcuts were visual, and I couldn't see them in the dark.

"What's your name?" a young voice said. In front of me stood a little girl with blonde pig tails. She was wearing a blue and yellow sundress with a matching hat, and rain boots. In her little hand was a shovel dirt covered her clothes. Gardening. This little girl reminded me of my own self when I used to help my grandmother with her small garden in her and my grandfather's Manhattan apartment.

I smiled. "Bianca. What's your name?" The little girl giggled, and took my hand. I stood up and let her pull me along. Her name was Mamrie, and she was six, almost seven.

"And this is my garden!" Mamrie announced. "There's roses and daisies and lots of other pretty things. Do you like it?" I nodded, smiling, momentarily forgetting my troubles. "Do you want to meet my mommy? She's inside making me a snack. Maybe you can stay."

"Oh, um. No. No, that's not a good idea. I probably shouldn't be here anyways, and I should probably just go," I rushed, standing up and making my way towards the fence on the other side of the yard.

Mamrie's lower lip began to shake. _Shit,_ I thought. "Why can't you stay? I want you to be my friend. You can play dollies with me." I kept inching backwards, trying to ignore the fact that Mamrie was about to cry. "Please stay, Bianca!"

"I can't, Mamrie. Maybe I'll come back later, okay?" Mamrie shook her head and started to cry. I winced, and rushed back over to her. "Shh, shh. Mamrie, you can't start crying. I'm not supposed to be in your backyard." But Mamrie wouldn't stop crying. I sighed angrily. Reluctantly, I covered her mouth with my hands. Mamrie tried to pull away, but I wouldn't let her. I told her to stop crying and I would let her go play, but that made it worse. Repeatedly I shushed her, pleading for her to be quiet. Still, Mamrie kept crying and struggling.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw the sliding door into Mamrie's house open. Her mother was standing, eyes wide and jaw dropped to the floor. "Get out," she commanded. "Let go of my daughter and get out!" I let go of Mamrie, but I didn't leave. The woman reached into her house and grabbed a landline phone off a nearby table.

Mamrie ran to her mother, who hugged her close. How desperately I wished my mother would do that to me right now. "I will call the police if you do not leave my backyard in five seconds," Mamrie's mother announced. I sighed, but didn't move.

"Please, don't call the police. It was all a misunderstanding. If you'd just let me explain –"

"Four."

"Please, ma'am."

"Three.

"You really don't need to call the police. It's actually a really funny story. You see –"

"Two." The woman started dialing.

"I really will leave. I'm going now. Just give me one minute."

The dial tone started. Swearing under the breath, I sprinted towards the fence and hopped over it effortlessly. I ran the rest of the way and began to see the shortcut signs as the sun began to set. The awkwardly hunched tree, the small creek, and countless other natural things that no one else would notice, I did. I remembered running the path when I was a child, Luke by my side. We would race to the road and back, always neck and neck. We were so much closer then. Now it didn't matter, because Luke was gone. And he wasn't coming back.

And there it was. There was a small clearing at the edge the trees. There was a small body of water that was perfect for swimming in the summer. Families would come and have picnics on the bank and the kids would jump off the dock nearby. I remembered the summer when Luke and I were eleven. We were jumping off the dock, and he had decided to try a backflip. I joined him, and was successful. I swam out of the way, and shouted from Luke to join. He grinned, and turned around, the edges of his heels just off the wood. Luke jumped in the air, arching his back perfectly. But he hadn't jumped far enough out, because he hit his head and had to get stitches. But that didn't stop him. He tried again the next summer, and landed each backflip perfectly.

No one was here. It was getting cooler out, despite us being in California. Without a second thought, and ran and jumped off the dock. Nothing graceful or Olympic-gold-medal worthy. I just needed to be in the water. I felt and could think better when I was surrounded by it.

The moment my head went under, I felt like I could breathe again. Everything was peaceful, even if just for the moment. I closed my eyes and let myself sink to the bottom. Slowly, I pushed the events of the past few days from my mind. Not to forget, just to survive for the moment.

* * *

When I finally opened my eyes the water had darkened. I looked up, and at the surface of the water I could see the reflection of the sunset on the water. This was one of the only places you could see it; the city had thinned out a lot once you got to the water. I stood up and pushed off the sand, shooting up towards the surface. The night air was cooler than before, now that my hair was wet. Inhaling a harsh breath of night air, I swam to the grass and climbed out of the water. As I wrapped my arms around myself, I wished I'd brought a towel, or a sweatshirt so I wouldn't be so cold. I would have if I had known I'd be coming here. Through the trees I found my way back to town and into the still-bustling streets of New Rome.

The city lights were bright against the darkening sky and I walked back to my house. I was ready now, or I thought I was, to face my parents so we could talk about everything. I knew we needed to. That's what the school social worker told me when I reluctantly marched to her office after she had called me down a couple of days after Luke's death.

Unfortunately, I never got the chance to talk to my mom and dad. A loud siren slowly grew closer to me as I walked down the sidewalk until it stopped next to me. "Put your hands where I can see them," a voice said. I whipped around. My eyes were wide and I was barely breathing. Slowly, I raised my arms, unsure what was going on.

"Officer, I –" I broke off. The officer had moved behind me and was currently cuffing my hands. _What was going on?_ I couldn't think of anything that could have happened in the past few days that would end with me – _dammit_. Mamrie's mom! She had threatened to call the police, and I waited too long to leave. She must have still called even after I had hopped the fence.

"You have the right to remain silent," the officer said sternly. The metal was cold around my wrist. I could feel my adrenaline begin to race, and it took all my effort not to give into reflexes and try to fight my way out of this. The officer pushed me forward towards the police car. I was grateful that there weren't a lot of people to see this, and even more grateful because I didn't know any of them.

The back seat of the police dark looked dark and dirty. There was a glass window separating the criminals from the officers which I was sure was bullet proof. As I maneuvered myself onto the seat, I took one last look around before I ducked my head into the car. Despite watching it happen, I jumped at the slam of the door. I looked through the dark window at the peaceful city flashing by. I felt so stupid. Getting myself arrested barely over week since what happened to Luke was selfish and careless, and I knew that my parents would, again, be torn apart. I squeezed my eyes shut, trying desperately to hold back the tears that were threatening to fall.

The rest of the night was a blur. I could only remember bits and pieces, and none of them made a lot of sense. I was in shock, I think. The situation, everything about it, was so crazy and wrong and – and it scared me. It scared me to think that everything was changing and falling apart so fast. I wasn't ready to lose it all. I didn't think I ever would be.

I was sitting in the waiting area of the police station when I heard a familiar voice shout, "Where is she? She should not be questioned for anything without a lawyer present and –" my mother froze as her eyes found me. Her face was red-eyed and puffy, and a pang of guilt pulsed through my veins. _I've made it worse_ , I thought. A flash of relief crossed my mother's face, but was quickly masked with a scowl. I flinched, despite knowing it was completely deserved. I watched my mom storm over to the secretary, who handed her my release papers. Within minutes, she was done. I stood up and rushed after my mom out the door.

"Mom?" I began. "Mom, I'm really sorry. It was an accident, I swear, and –" my mom slammed her foot on the breaks, jerking me forward. I looked at my mom with wide eyes. She never, _ever_ , drove recklessly like that. In fact, she never drove even the slightest bit reckless, no matter what the situation.

"No." My mother kept her eyes glued to the road. "No, you're not going to talk, Bianca. I will ask questions, and you will answer. Got it?" I nodded, my own eyes glued to my hands in my lap. "Are you okay?"

Again, I looked at my mom. That was the last thing I thought she would say then. Honestly, I thought she'd be furious for me getting arrested, no matter the reason, and that she and my dad had to pay the bail money, and for countless other reasons. "Yeah. Are you?"

"I will be."

* * *

When we finally pulled into the driveway, my mother and I seemed to be on good terms. Well, good enough, at least. I opened the garage door and stepped inside, expecting the lights to be on, and my dad sitting in the kitchen table, waiting for me to come home from the police station.

Instead, the lights were off, and no one was sitting at the kitchen table. The house seemed empty. I quickly slid off my shoes and ran upstairs, looking into my parents' bedroom, and then the living room, and anywhere my dad might have been. But he wasn't. He wasn't anywhere.

"Mom," I asked as I came back to the kitchen. "Where's dad?" She winced. I already knew the answer, but I felt that I needed to hear it out loud to make it real. Even though I didn't want it to be.

Slowly, she turned to me. "He's not here." I took in shaky breath, slowly walking backwards towards the doorway. I asked her where he was. "I, I'm not sure."

"When will he be back, then?"

"He won't."

 **Okay, that's it for this chapter! Sorry if you hate me, but it's what I do. Please comment, follow, favorite, and share!**

 **Love,**

 **daughterofpercabeth417**


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